November?? Already??

Posted by Sara Lee, LCSW

Since when did the beginning of November become the end of the year?   As we transition from October to November, it feels like Fall just flew by. I’ve noticed that time seems to be going faster and faster. And on top of that, it increasingly feels like October has somehow become the end of the year. It feels that if you have to get anything substantive done, you need to do so by the end of October or early weeks of November. 
I don’t know if this is because I’m getting older or because I have young children or because the holidays seem to be encroaching upon one another. Or maybe it is a combination of all three. But somehow it feels I have to complete everything NOW because my time is up. It is like the months of November and December don’t even exist, rather they are just the holiday season. 
So how do I slow down during this busy period and not feel like I’m racing to an artificial (but very real feeling) deadline before the hecticness of the holidays?  I rely on my STOPP skill. 
First I Stop and then I Take a deep breath. This helps center me while also reducing the racing thoughts and the urgency to do do do. From there I Observe what is happening in my body and try to understand where is my attention? Often my attention is focused on the future and completing tasks and I am nowhere near the present moment. But rather I’m caught up in the what ifs, the stress, the worry. By realizing this, I have more ability to slow down and bring myself back to the moment, which reduces the tension and pressure I’ve placed on myself. Then I try to find some Perspective. What is the bigger picture? Do I actually have a deadline or is this a feeling I have created? How can I make this more manageable? And then from there I Proceed with the new slowness and knowledge I have gained from taking that pause. 
Stop
Take one slow, deep breath
Observe.   
What am I thinking and feeling in my body? Where is my focus of attention? What am I reacting to?
Pull Back.  
Put in some Perspective. See the bigger picture and take the “helicopter” view. Consider another way of looking at this. Is this fact or opinion? What would someone else see and make of it? What advice would I give to someone else? What meaning am I giving this event for me to react in this way? How important is this right now, and will it be important in 6 months? Is my reaction in proportion to the actual event? 
Practice what works
Proceed only when you are sure. Decide on the best thing to do. What will be the consequences of my action or non action? Do what works, what will be the most helpful? Will it be effective and appropriate? Is it in proportion to the event? 

As we start the approach to the holidays, it will be so important to remember to take those pauses and ground ourselves in the present. Listening to our bodies is just as productive and important as all the other tasks we have. It is a way to give back to ourselves too during this hectic and busy time. If possible, try to use this skill not only reactively in the moment, but also proactively to boost your ability to tackle whatever the day might throw at you. You’ve got this!